Finding that New Balance

Feeling it out...

No, it’s not about looking up as you’re driving out of Boston and seeing the New Balance logo shining brightly on the side of a building. It’s not about shoe shopping. It’s not about any of that.

It IS about finding my new balance and fresh center in the midst of this new way of living and being.

I’ve been sitting zazen regularly (some might say religiously) each morning since the week before Christmas, and it’s really starting to make a palpable difference in my life. I’ve got greater equanimity than I can recall having in many years. It’s also rekindled my interest in reading and contemplating — that, too, was gone for a number of years.

And all this sitting, all this being, all this breathing, has served to stir up a lot of “stuff” with me, and it’s putting me into a whole new relation to my life, which I can’t recall having in several decades. In truth, I used to feel this — something like 30 years ago. But ever since I ‘grew up’ and started to get ‘responsible’ it just hasn’t been there.

Now it’s back. Not sure I’m being clear, but I just wanted to put this out there.

Zazen makes a difference. And a really good difference at that. Now I have to learn to handle the good… after so many years of becoming adept at handling the bad.

That balance has got to be there somewhere.

Think I’ll sit quietly till I find it (again).

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